


Tenderness

by ever3tt



Category: clueless - Fandom
Genre: 90s, Dorks in Love, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, Lowkey porn with a plot, Oneshot, Oral, Romance, Sex, clueless, intercourse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 10:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19171759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ever3tt/pseuds/ever3tt
Summary: The number of times I've watched clueless is ridiculous. This week alone i've watched it 3? maybe 4 times?  i really want to know what happens between Josh and Cher after the movie ends but since there's nothing my brain produced this. It's kind of a mix of porn with a plot, fluff and some light angst ? hope you enjoy





	Tenderness

"I just don't understand why you're freaking out about this so much Cher, I mean you guys have done stuff before."

I avert my eyes from Dionne, my best friend, as I feel my cheeks blush bright crimson. I drop the lacy white bra I'm holding and bite my lower lip nervously. "But we've never gone all the way, and I want my first time to be perfect." I move to another section in the lingerie store. 

"It usually takes a couple tries before it actually feels good," Tai says, as she picks up a sheer turquoise satin slip, gives it a once over and drops it back into the pile on the display. I'm faced with the fact that both my closest friends have had their cherries popped but I'm still a virgin. That's going to change soon, I remind myself. The whole reason we're here is to buy me something to make me look sexy for Josh. We've been going out for almost two months now and we still haven't gone all the way. I thought at first that he was just being a gentleman (not that he isn't) but now I'm wondering if it's something else. He's right at the age where his hormones are supposed to be all over the place. So why hasn't he made a move yet? It was a question that my brain gave me many answers to, none of which I liked. So I decided that if Josh wouldn't make a move I would. 

"Don't scare her Tai!" Dionne exclaims, whacking Tai's upper arm playfully with her handbag. We walk past a mannequin wearing a cute gold satin cami set and I grab a set in my size from the display. These will be cute for another time. 

"I'm only telling the truth," Tai defends herself, "my first time it was pretty uncomfy. The guy was clueless about what makes a girl feel good. Not only that but his you-know-what was-" she holds her thumb and pointer finger apart with barely any space between them and we all giggle. 

"Yeah but Cher knows she isn't going to have either of those issues," Dionne says grinning at me, her eyes glitter knowingly. 

"I told you guys those things in confidence!" 

"There's no one else here silly," Tai smirks.

"At least since you've gone down on him before you know he's got a big one."

"And since he's older and in college he's probably really experienc-" Dionne hits Tai's arm again with her handbag and the girl stops what she was saying, "well experienced enough to know what he's doing so it'll probably feel good."

"Hey, what about this, Cher?" Dionne's rushes out and I know it's an attempt to distract me, holding up a satin coral bra and matching panties. 

"They'd be cute if it wasn't for the tacky little black bows," I tell her. She puts them back and we keep looking. "That's partially what I'm so worried about."

"What, Cher?" Tai asks going through a rack of burgundy cami sets.

"Well he probably has been with other girls, girls with experience who knew what they were doing. There's no way I'll be even close to as good as them," I say, an icky feeling starts to fill me up. 

"Don't say that Cher. Josh knows your a virgin-"

"Don't remind me," I pout and toss aside a pair of itchy feeling bright orange panties. Gross. 

"That means hes not expecting you to be some kind of sex deity. Beside's it can only get better." I know Dionne is trying to reassure me but I feel sick I'm so worried. What if I bleed? I read in a magazine that that happens to some girls. Or what if it hurts so much I have to ask Josh to stop? God that would be so embarrassing! Then I see them. I squeal with joy, my worries momentarily forgotten, and hold them up for Dionne and Tai to see. A matching lacy red bra and panties. They're so cute!! 

"Adorable!"

"Josh won't be able to resist you!"

I sure hope that they're right. I pull out my phone and flip it open. I send Josh a quick text. 'I have a surprise for you!! ;)'

Josh answers almost right away. 'Please tell me you aren't trying to cook again.'

"What are you grinning about?" Dionne asks.

"She's probably texting Josh," Tai says teasingly. 

"Shut up!"

"Well am I wrong?" 

"No..."

They both laugh and I just grinned down at my phone as another text from Josh comes through. 'Don't get me wrong I love the taste of burnt tuna casserole but I'm not sure Mel loves the smell of smoke in his house.'

'It's nothing like that' I send him. 'Just don't plan anything tonight' I hesitate before pressing send. I look up at my best girlfriends. "I'm gonna do it tonight!"

"Get it girl!"

I press send. 

-x-

I'm giving myself a final once over in my bedroom mirror and dabbing on some shiny lip gloss when I hear Josh come in through the front door and start making his way up to my room. I know it's him because I recognise the sound of his footsteps. A moment later there was a knock at my bedroom door. "Come in!" 

I watch my door open and Josh walks through. Desire rises up in my chest when I see him. He's wearing a classic Josh outfit. A plain t shirt, one of his soft plaid shirts and fitting dark jeans. Not the sexiest outfit necessarily but, I suck in my lower lip, it's Josh. I watch his eyes sweep up and down my body. I'm wearing a white summer dress that falls down to my knees. It has thin straps and shows off the red straps of my bra. My golden blonde hair is tied back in a high ponytail, showing off my cheekbones and neck. It also holds my hair back so my silver hoops are more visible. "You know you don't have to knock," I tell him. 

"Well what if you were changing?"

"So what if I was?" I say, my back is turned to him as I reach into my closet for my purse so I don't see how he reacts to that. Let him interpret it as he wants to. I don't give him a chance to answer. "Lucy packed us some popcorn for the movie," I tell him. "I can ask her to make us some grilled cheese though if you want something heavier?"

Josh looks like he wants to say something, his mouth is hanging open like a fish but when he catches me looking at him he blinks and shuts it. Shaking his head he says, "Nah, popcorn's good. What movie are they playing at the drive through again?"

"Not sure. It's some old black and white classic that Dionne loves. She says the lead is good looking."

"Let me get this straight," Josh's voice is teasing, "I'm taking you on a date where you're going to be ogling some other guy?"

I flash Josh a grin over my shoulder. "Well it's an old film, Josh, so he's probably ancient by now in real life."

He snorts and I have to suppress my own laugh. I turn and he's standing there in front of me. "Unbelievable," he says softly, looking down into my eyes.

I feel a tingling in my belly and have to hold back from kissing him. I know that if I do, I won't be able to hold back, and Daddy's downstairs. So instead I kiss him on the cheek and grab his hand, "Come on Josh or we'll be late."

-x-

We get to the drive through and set up the back of Josh's truck. We brought heaps of blankets and pillows so it will be comfy. Once we're all set up the both of us curl up under a blanket and I leaned against his chest. "So what's this surprise you mentioned earlier this afternoon?" He whispered, his breath tickling the shell of my ear and I can feel his deep voice rumble up through him where I'm leaning against his hard chest. It sends a shiver up my spine. 

"Wait and see." I can hear how breathless my voice sounds, surely Josh can too. He laughs and I can feel it against my back. The movie starts and I try to pay attention but I'm so focused on Josh, the feel of him against me, the warmth, the way he shifts just a bit beneath my every few minutes, the laughter in his voice when he whispers commentary about the movie into my ear. The stirring in my belly is back and I'm trying to shove it back down but with every brush of Josh's lips at my temple it gets harder. Then he's running his hands through my ponytail and blowing at my baby hairs, driving me crazy. His fingers weave through my own and with them he traces patterns on the back of my hand and drags his nails in teasingly slow circles against my palm. He has to know the effect he's having on me. How could he not? This beautiful, witty, clever boy is making me lose my mind. 

I fix my eyes, determinedly, to the movie. What's happening right now? The girl is soaked in rain and carrying a sopping wet cat, maybe Dionne has worse taste in movies than I thought. 

"Cher?"

"Yeah, Josh?"

"I know this might not be the best timing but I have a really important question to ask you."

His voice sounds really serious and worry starts to bubble inside me. I turn in his arms to look him in the eyes. "What is it?" His eyes darted away from my face and the anxiety in me grows. Is Josh about to break up with me? 

"I just wanted to ask-" He can't seem to get the words out, like they're sticking in his throat. His eyes flit back to mine and I lick me lips nervously. My mouth suddenly feels very dry. "I wanted to ask you if-" he stops again and it's like his eyes are searching mine for the answer to the question he hasn't even asked me yet. 

"Josh?"

He swallows. "Sorry i was just wondering if you were chilly. I think there's a bit of a breeze." He's already shrugging out of his plaid shirt and draping it around my shoulders before I can tell him that I don't feel any breeze. He presses a tight lipped smile across his face and I can tell it's fake but I don't want to press him. So I just leaned back against his chest and bite the inside of my cheek. I can't concentrate on the rest of the movie because my thoughts are plagued with anxiety. What is going on with Josh? He doesn't play with my hair or fingers, doesn't whisper any more commentary in my ear. We both just sit there. Stiff and unmoving and I can feel the tension in the air.

When the movie's over Josh asks me if I liked the movie and I nodded even though I hadn't been paying attention at all. We drive back home in almost complete silence except for the soft radio. I barely listen though, totally zoned out and looking out the window I don't realise that we've pulled into the driveway until Josh says, "Cher? Earth to Cher?'

My head snaps around and I look at him. My chest suddenly feels tight. He's about to break up with me isn't he? Josh is about to dump me. I have to blink back tears that are threatening to roll down my cheeks. 

His eyebrows come together and his forehead creases with worry. "I feel like maybe you know what I'm about to say." All I can do is stare at him. I don't want to hear what he's about to say. I don't want to lose Josh. "Look, we've only been dating awhile but-"

I can't hear this right now. "I'm really tired Josh. I'm going to go in-" I start to push the truck door open. 

"Cher, please listen to me-" Josh gets out of his side of the truck as I move toward the front porch.

"I just- I just can't tonight." I dig through my purse but can't find my key. Great. I try the front door but it's locked. No point knocking because Daddy's out at a dinner party and Lucy went out with some friends tonight because I told her I wanted the house to myself tonight. Shit. I can't believe I thought I was going to be losing my virginity tonight. Tears sting my eyes. I march down the front porch and hope that maybe the back door or a window was left open. Josh follows me and I want to get angry at him for making me fall in love with him. 

"If I don't ask tonight it'll drive me crazy Cher!"

Wait... I turn around. "What are you talking about?"

Josh runs both his hands through his already messy brown hair and takes a deep breath. "Look I know we've only been dating a couple months but Cher I've known you since you were ten and our parents married, you know, before they divorced." He laughs nervously and in any other mindset I probably would have laughed too but right now my brain is trying to catch up with what's going on right now. This doesn't sound like a break up. 

"I knew you with braces and ugly red zits and bad hair days. I've known you through your astrology obsession and your semi punk phase when you were thirteen. I know shopping, for some weird reason that I don't understand because shopping personally stresses me out, is the thing that centres you most, that you don't like using spoons unless it's for soup or cereal, that you don't like when the TV is on at an uneven volume, that you would do next to anything for Dionne and Tai, that when you think no one's listening you sing your heart out to Britney Spears. You shower at night because otherwise you feel like you're getting into bed dirty, you love cartoons because they help you relax and feel better after a long stressful day. If someone massages your feet you fall asleep in under five minutes, you spend a silly amount on Polaroid film to see what outfits look like when you could just use a mirror, you know how to argue yourself out of any and every situation. You're the most stubborn, pain in the ass I know but you're also passionate and dedicated and I love that about you. I love all those things about you. I love you Cher, and- and I want you to move in with me." 

The whole spinning world had come to a halt and I opened my mouth to answer but now I was the one with words stuck in my throat that I couldn't get out. 

"I understand if your answer is no but I mean we're going to the same university next year and-"

"Yes."

"- then you wouldn't have to pay for residence or, well, I mean I just had to ask- wait, yes?"

"Yes, Josh, of course I'll move in with you!" 

He stares at me, eyes wide before he buries his face in his hands. "Oh thank god," he laughs. I laugh too and relief bubbles up in me. Josh isn't breaking up with me, he wants me to move in. I laugh harder. 

"I thought you were going to break up with me," I admit. 

Josh stops laughing. "Seriously?" I nod. "Cher...c'mere." I walk into his open arms and press my face against his chest. He wraps me up into his embrace and tucks my head under his chin. I breathe in deeply, comforted by the smell of Josh. It's an odd mix of cologne and citrus-y detergent. I feel dizzy with relief. 

"You were wrong about one thing," I tell him, looking up at him. 

He pears down into my eyes. "What's that?"

"Shopping isn't the thing that centres me most, you are."

Josh smiles at me and my insides liquefy. "That is one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me." I hide my face back against his chest and Josh chuckles. We stay there for a couple minutes, just holding onto each other, listening to the bubble of the fountain around back. Which reminds me...

"Hey Josh?"

"Yeah, Cher?"

"Wanna help me check around back to see if there's a window that got left open or something?"

"You forgot your key again didn't you?"

"Maybe?" Josh wraps an arm around my waist and I lean into his side. 

"Let's go find an open window."

Our shoes scuff against the stone pathway and the gurgling fountain gets louder. Once around back we stand back and survey the house. I put my purse down on a pool chair. "You know there's actually one other thing," I say. 

Josh glances over at me, humour dancing in his eyes. "Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"I never went through a punk phase."

Josh cackles. "You absolutely did. I have the family photo evidence to prove it."

"That's a lie."

"It really isn't." I opened my mouth the argue further but Josh kept going. "Tell me what part of your leather, plaid, ripped jeans, combat boots ensembles with all that attitude and dark eye makeup wasn't punk or grunge? Whatever you want to call it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I glower at him. 

"I'll find the photos Cher, and then I'll show them to Dionne and Tai and-"

"You wouldn't."

"You know I would." I want to be annoyed but that dimpled smirk on his face is making it really hard. So instead I just elbow him. He elbows me back so I shove him. He's about to shove me in return so I take a step back. But there's nowhere for me to step back to. 

"Cher!" Josh reaches for me but I fall back into the pool. I have no time to prepare for the water that surges up around me. I inhale a lungful and come up coughing. I'm completely soaked and my hair is plastered to my skin. My makeup is probably totally ruined. I pull myself out of the pool and Josh helps me stand. 

"You alright?" Josh asks me. I try to find it in me to be annoyed but can't. It's actually kind of funny this whole thing. I laugh at myself and Josh gives me an incredulous look. Then he glances down and his mouth parts into a small o. I look down to see what he's looking at. Shit. His plaid shirt is so wet. 

"Shit, Josh, I'm so sorry about your shirt." I tug it off. "I promise I'll get Lucy to wash it."

He's shaking his head. Stepping closer until we're mere inches apart, Josh reaches out with one had takes his shirt and carelessly tosses it aside. With his other hand he runs the wet fabric of my white dress through his fingers. Then I notice what he was really looking at. My thin white summer dress has turned practically transparent as it clings to my dripping, damp skin. Through the sheer fabric the matching red bra and panties I bought earlier today with Dionne and Tai are visible. I look up into Josh's face and he looks at me, his eyes are dark with unhidden desire. My breath catches in my throat. Josh, runs a single finger up my arm, raising goosebumps on my skin. His eyes haven't left mine and the way he's staring at me is making my knees go weak. 

"What are you doing to me, Cher?" he asks, voice cracking with want. I can't help but find his words disorienting in a way, I'm not doing anything. He's the one standing there making me want him for just looking at me like that.

I take a steadying breath and take the final step forwards so we're flush pressed up against one another. Josh releases a shaky breath and I brush his nose with my own. I'm filled with the urge to pull him to me and kiss him hard but I want to draw this out and make it slow. I lick at his lower lip and he shudders. 

"What do you want?"

"I think you know." I let me fingers dance up his forearm. 

"Say it," he whispers and now it's my turn to shudder from all the love, lust, want in his voice, in his eyes, in his touch.

"You, I want you Josh." His lips meet mine and my eyelids sink shut. My hands glide through his silky soft messy hair. I pull him closer to me, all restraint leaving my body completely. He opens his mouth and I mine. His tongue slides against mine. It's wet and warm and I can feel my heart rate accelerate. One of his hands is at my waist, the other tilts my chin up. The one at my chin slides down my throat and into the ends of my ponytail. I'm shivering with want and I feel like my legs might give out from beneath me so I grip the front of his shirt harder. 

"Maybe-" I suck in a lungful of air. "Maybe we should go in-" Josh nods fervently and takes my hand pulling me towards the house. "Josh, how- how are we going to get in?"

His eyes darted around frantically. "Spare key? Do you guys have one hidden beneath a rock or- or something?"

I rack my brain for Daddy ever mentioning one. "I don't know... umm." I kneel down and turn over both flower pots on either side of the door. Nothing. Under the doormat. Nothing. I only have one more idea. I reach into the birdhouse dangling from the tree our gardener planted last summer. My fingers are met with cool metal. I pull out the key and shove it into the lock, twisting it and opening the door. I don't even remove the key from the door before Josh is closing it behind us and we're tripping over our own shoes as we slide them off and head up to the second floor where my room is. The moment we're across the threshold we're back at each other. A breath against my neck is the only warning before his lips suck at the skin there. I let my head fall back against the door and shut my eyes. I love this feeling so much, and Josh knows it. He suckles and bites and I wrap my arms around his neck to stay standing. "Oh Josh..." I rasp.

His lips move back to my own and we kiss as we stumble to my bed. I flick on my lamp before I fall back and Josh lowers himself down on top of me. Chest to chest, hips to hips. 

"Do you have a condom?' I asked, surprised at how steady my voice is right now.

"Are you ready?" Josh gets out, staring into my eyes, looking for hesitation. 

"Unbelievably," I tell him truthfully. He nods in acknowledgement and he sits up enough to pull his shirt up over his head in that attractive way boys do without even knowing how attractive it is. His chest is smooth and hard and I long to run my fingers over all that skin but first I pull my damp dress up over my head and I watch as Josh's eyes grow darker yet. The bra is a push up and does wonders for my breasts, they look full and perky. The red compliments my honey toned smooth skin. 

"You know sometimes it's mind blowing to me how beautiful you are," he says between hot and heavy kisses that are making me go out of my mind delirious. 

I reach down between us and unbutton his jeans, sliding them down his legs. So much of his skin presses against mine but I can't help but crave more. His hands come around my back and I feel the straps of my bra slip from my shoulders as he undoes the clasp. The night's air meets my breasts and the tender skin there. Josh rubs my nipple painstakingly softly. I rise up, arching my back, silently asking for more. He huffs a laugh against my skin but he squeezes and pinches and pleasure sparks through me. I slide Josh's underwear down to where his pants are and he kicks out of them both as he slides his hand between my legs. Pushing the red lace panties to the side he lowers himself between my legs. I tremble as he licks a broad stroke up me. The next few minutes are a blur of euphoria and bliss. I fumble at my bedside table and from the small drawer I pull out lube. Josh comes up and pulls a condom from his jeans pocket. He rolls it on as he kisses me deeply. My insides are tingling and as I feel him at my entrance he looks me in the eye and says, "Tell me if you want me to stop okay, Cher?"

I nod, gripping one of his shoulders with one hand, the other clenches my bed sheet as I wait. It pinches at first and I suck in a breath and screw my eyes shut. "Cher? Do you want me to stop?" 

I shake my head. "No, keep going," I tell him, my voice uneven. "Just gradual."

Josh nods, understanding. His movements start shallow and slow but gradually pick up pace and depth. After a couple minutes the pinching feeling goes away and I'm filled with an odd fullness. It's nice but not like the sex they show in movies. Not until Josh takes some of the lube, warms it up between his fingers then starts to rub me between my legs with two fingers. My legs shake and twitch and stars shoot through my vision and up my body too. So Josh payed attention in sex-ed all those years back and knows what a clitoris is. The both of us pant heavily as he moves rhythmically. I move my hips to meet him. Between the full feeling and the shooting stars an uncontrollably good tingly feeling starts all over my body. I can feel the sweat on my brow, the stickiness of it. Weirdly it's not gross and I don't feel self conscious. I kiss my way up Josh's neck, under his chin, that sensitive part he has beneath his ear. Josh comes first, panting as he came down from the high. Orgasm was a burst of ecstasy coursing through my veins. I felt happy, flushed, warm and sleepy. 

Josh got up, shaky, beside me and I was about to ask where he was going but the sight of his back stilled my tongue. Marinating in the feeling of release I slide beneath the covers and watched him remove the condom and wipe himself off with the tissues on my desk. He threw them out into the garbage bin under my desk. When he was done he came back to my bed. Pulling back the covers he shifted in beside me and tucked himself in beside me. 

I could feel a slick wetness between my legs but forgot about it when Josh, reaching out with gentle fingers, tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. The tenderness of the gesture made me smile softly and I shut my eyes, feeling nothing but happy and warm as I turned in my boyfriend's arms so he was pressed up against my back. I felt grounded and more comfortable here than anywhere else. 

-x-

I woke up to an empty bed but I could hear Josh banging around in the kitchen downstairs. Pushing back my covers and rolling out of bed I snatched up Josh's plaid shirt and button it up. It was so long, it nearly reached my knees and I had sweater paws from the sleeves. It smelt so much like him and I couldn't resist tugging up the collar, inhaling deeply. Feeling slightly embarrassed (but glad that no one else was around to see) I pull on a pair of white socks to keep my feet warm and go to the kitchen to join Josh. I stand in the doorway to the kitchen and lean against the door frame, watching Josh as he butters a piece of toast. He's wearing his jeans and t shirt from last night. His hair is all messy in that way that I love and I long to run my fingers through it. I shift my weight to my other leg and the floorboards beneath me creak. Josh turns and when he sees me a warm smile spreads across my face and my insides turn to liquid. 

"G'morning." His voice is kind of deep and rough in the morning and I lick my lips because it's so attractive. He turns so he's got his back to the kitchen counter. I go up to him, so close that I have to tilt my head back to look into his eyes. 

"Morning." I give him a quick peck on the nose and grab my own bread to pop into the toaster. 

"You feel alright?" Josh asks. 

I grab a mug from the cupboard and fill it with coffee that Josh has already made. "What do you mean?" My toast comes up and I put it on a plate and start buttering it. 

"Are you, you know, are you...sore?"

I stop buttering my toast to look at him. "Oh, yeah, but only a little." 

Josh averts his eyes from mine and looks down at the kitchen floor. "Sorry."

I shake my head and reach out to tilt his head up so he has to look my in the eyes again. "Don't' be sorry silly," I say smiling at him so he can see that I really am okay. "It's not in a bad way. It's in that 'just-had-a-work-out-sore-but-satisfied' way." He still looks upset with himself though so I frame his face with my hands. "Josh, listen, I swear I'm fine. You know you'd be hearing about it if I wasn't." That gets a smile out of him and I go back to my toast, sprinkling cinnamon on it. 

"Did you have a chance to look in the mirror before you got up?" That get's my attention, Josh sounds kind of smug so I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously as I bite into my toast. What is he talking about? I shake me head. He points at a mirror beside the backdoor and I walk over and look in. My eyes go to my neck and the purple bruises decorating it. My eyes widen. "Yikes, I'd better put some makeup on those before Daddy comes back." Then my eyes widen even further. "Josh, what time is it?"

He turns to look at the clock on the wall behind him. "Uh, like 10:50, why?"

"Come on, we have to get out of here. Daddy gets back from a meeting with his dietitian at 11:00!" We both scarf down our toast and finish off our coffee before we hustle back up to my room. I pull on a pair of way cute new jeans I bought at the mall last week. I keep Josh's plaid shirt on (which makes him smirk to himself but I see it) but I undo the bottom few buttons and tie it off to make it look more fashionable. I put my hair into a purposefully messy bun and slide in some sparkly dangling earrings. I manage to do a quick makeup job on my neck before snatching a pair of shoes from my closet. Josh and I dash down the stairs but when we reach the bottom I see Daddy's car pulling into the driveway. "Out the back!" I tell Josh. 

"There's no point. He's seen my car already and he'll be more suspicious if he comes in and neither of us are here." Josh is right but I don't want to admit that to him. "Your dad knows we're together."

"I know that I just don't want him to get weird about you staying over."

"We'll say I just got here this morning and we're going out for brunch."

"Oh, alright," I huff. 

We open the front door and Daddy jumps a bit in surprise. "Good Morning you two."

"Morning Mel."

"Morning Daddy."

"Where are you two off to?"

"Brunch," we both say in unison. 

"Did Josh stay over last night?"

"Bye Daddy, gotta go or we'll be late for our reservation," I say quickly and book it down the driveway for Josh's truck. 

When we're both in and pulling out I can see that Daddy is still watching us from the doorway and I know that he knows something's up. He's too smart for us to get away with this, he'll probably bring it up later. 

"So where are we actually going?" Josh asks me, putting his hand behind my headrest as he pulls out of the driveway.

"Let me text Christian, he was telling me about this way delicious bakery he went to last week with his boyfriend."

"Sounds good, let me know when he sends to address. How is Christian doing?"

"He seems to be doing well. I haven't met his boyfriend yet but he got into the university program he wanted to so he's super happy about that. Oh, okay he answered me, here's the address-" I show my phone screen to Josh who nods and changes route. I turn the radio on and Tenderness by General Public is playing. 

‘I held your hands

Rings but none on that finger

We danced and danced’

The heat in the car is growing so I roll my window down and cool air dances through my hair. I take the hand Josh isn't using to drive and hold it in my lap. His hand is so much bigger than mine, enclosing it completely. Warm and smooth. I feel safe and calm. I always feel so centred with Josh around. 

‘But I was scared to go much further with it

Just half a chance

Make sure that one night you're here but

Next night you're not

It always leaves me searching for a little’

I glance to Josh who looks back at me a moment, his expression full of tenderness, before returning his eyes to the road. 

‘Tenderness, tenderness, tenderness, where is the tenderness’


End file.
